Sigh.
Being single isn't bad. In fact, it's pretty cool. I do what I want when I want to. No shorties, no man to nag and tie me down. I'm a free spirit. I sleep in on the weekends. I go to my nerdy events, or I hang out at night. I write books and don't clean my house if I hit a hot streak. In fact, the more I think about it, the more ideal my marital status becomes.
Then this happens.
Now I'm depressed. My stomach churns just thinking about it. Every February 14th I get to experience the joy of watching all of the couples going out to their expensive dinners and receive trinkets of affection from their lovely ones. Some may even receive a proposal of one sort or another. Maybe the happy couples will decide instead to curl up on the sofa at home, watch a movie, order a pizza, have some drinks, and then some fun in the midnight hour.
Whatever
Instead of spending the next 11 days anticipating another evening of fun with my boys, Jack and Jim, skinny dipping in Knob Creek, I'm doing something new this year.
Classic Fantasy - The Roux of Love
Every good gumbo starts with a nice dark brown roux. It's the building block of flavor and substance. Once you have it place, you can create any type of gumbo you like.
The same rules apply for Fantasy Valentine's Day.
The Day Before Valentine's Day
I'm spending all day at the Lodge Torrey Pines Spa, getting buffed and fluffed. I'm getting the works too: full body scrub, facial, mani/pedi, steam, body wrap and anything else they may have to offer. I'm staying overnight because I don't want to spoil my pampered high by driving home.
Valentines Day
Morning
I begrudgingly leave my oh so comfy bed and depart the lodge for home. On the way, I stop and pick up my dress from my designer. I guess I must have ordered it weeks before and now it's ready.
Midday
I make it home and have a few mimosas. My make-up artist arrives to hook me up and help me dress for my big evening.
Evening
Fantasy Man is at the door. I look incredible. He looks fantastic, all big and fine. Wow, he put on a tux? He's right on time too. He looks too good. Maybe we should stay home and play some indoor sports. He gives me the eye, because he knows what I'm thinking. He shrugs off my subliminal invite and hands me gifts.
Wow, what a beautiful bouquet of flowers!
My favorite champagne? Thank you Fantasy Man.
We're going to Flemings Steak House and Wine Bar. How did he know I wanted steak?
After three bottles of wine and ingesting a steak big enough for two people, I need to lay down. My dress is tight and I probably need to burp. I suddenly hate Fantasy Man because I can't be brazen and am forced to act like a lady. But ohhh no! I'm the one who wanted Fantasy Man to take me out, now I must be Fantasy Lady. I excuse myself and go to the ladies room to get myself together.
Later that evening
I'm tired, ready to go home, take of my girdle, have some more wine and go asleep. Nevertheless I can't because I wanted to be a 'couple' for Valentine's Day. Fantasy Man has made reservations at the La Valencia. So what if he just dropped $700 on din din and my tab? How can he assume I'm going to spend the evening anywhere with him? Alas, he is Fantasy Man. To be honest, I can't say I'm totally opposed to the naughty idea. He knows what I like.
We head out to the patio and sit in an empty settee. Under the stars, seduced by the lullaby of the sea crashing into the shore, I lean into Fantasy Man's big chest and love him. I'm so grateful he's finally here with me. I want to cry, but I decide not to be a sap. Maybe one tear of joy falls. I could sit here in Fantasy Man's arms forever.
OMG, Cartier? My all time favorite jeweler? Two hearts entwined as one on a gold chain. Wow, I didn't know he had bank like that. Well he is Fantasy Man. It's nothing like a little trinket, dinner and wine to make a girl feel friendly. If I didn't want to be nice to him before, I certainly do now (who am I fooling, I was going to be nice to him anyway). I notice the look of pride and haughtiness on his face. Yup, he knows he's been a good boy and he waiting for me to pat him on his head and scratch him behind his ears. He knows I have some treats for him too. He extends his hand, inviting me to come with him. I accept his hand.
Funny thing, he didn't have too do all of this. We could have sat on the sofa, drank IPA's, and watched TV. For truth be told, I love Fantasy Man. Spending time with him is the most precious gift of all. However, I love it when Fantasy Man impresses me and blows my mind. It makes me love him all the more. He doesn't leave a stone un-turned either. Fantasy Man brought his A-Game tonight.
Who's yo' Daddy or Mommy?
Send your favorite photos of you Fantasy Man/Woman and I will post your pics to my site (no explicit pics, we only talk dirty here).
Send clean pictures,
(DO NOT SEND X-RATED/NUDE, SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIALS)
TO:
blamehelenabooks at gmail dot com
